Woes

By: dinofiend

Mar 01 2014

Category: Uncategorized

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Well, THAT was a fiasco…. Uhhhhhngh this is why I’m just not a performer-type person >_<

And you’d think it would get better the more you’ve performed, right? The anxiety would lessen, the dry-mouth would stop, and you could actually smile proudly at the audience afterwards? Maybe I’m just doing something wrong, but after so many years in so many ensembles, it’s still so hit-or-miss… Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had good concerts. I’ve been fairly satisfied before, knowing that even though my performance wasn’t perfect, it represented a nice average of the quality I could do when practicing. But still, most times I perform, it’s way under the bar. I’m lucky I didn’t start crying during this one (only after). Geez, what a wimp!

Don’t even get me started on auditions… 

All in all, I enjoy being in music ensembles for the practices. I love playing music, and it’s such a nice relief from my usual work. Chamber groups are fun, and I’ve been playing in a trio with two friends. It’s a blast, and it gives the music so much more meaning when it’s something you’ve sat down and played yourself. I could listen to this stuff for hours (and hum it passionately for hours too), but I’ll be darned if I can ever play it with that care and passion for an audience.

On a happier note, I got to ski again yesterday 😉 THAT, I can proudly say, is something I am really quite good at. Gotta get ‘dem thrills baby!

 

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